The cards were released last Saturday. I have to say, I am not happy with what I saw when I woke up. Most people would think that those grades were good. And I guess they are decent. But that wasn't my best effort. And I don't feel good about it.

The 86 from Trigo was something many people would call good. But for me, that is something scary. 86 is not a good grade if you're vying for honors. Especially since that grade can easily fall to an 85 if I'm not careful. Aaagh.

Yes, I am in the Top Ten. Top seven, to be exact. I miss the days when studying used to be like a game. It used to be fun, most especially last year. Now it feels more like a chore. It feels like I have to be forced to study just for the sake of getting the 85 and above mark in my card. I'm beginning to wonder if this "cream section" system is taking its toll on me. I mean, why bother studying when you'll never come out number one? That seems to be my mentality lately. My pessimism is coming back, with a vengeance. And I don't know how to make it all go away.

But. Something a friend told me struck me and convinced me to fight back and work. She told me about a classmate of ours who, although he wasn't in the top ten, he was making an improvement and an effort to improve. But the people in our Honor Roll are not improving at all. It's as if we just work hard ENOUGH to make the cut-off. And that doesn't seem right.

There's still the other quarters. There is always room for improvement, right? And that is what I am planning to do. Improve. Though there are people who will always be number one, I can be number three. I did it last year, and hopefully I can do it again :) Right?